A community listening session on the Big Sky Resort Area District master plan filled the Buck’s T-4 Lodge meeting room Tuesday evening, with roughly 60 residents arranged in what several attendees described as “an extremely polite standoff.”

Longtime residents who bought condos in the 1990s sat on the left side of the room. Newer arrivals who purchased in the last five years occupied the right. The aisle down the middle remained empty, a buffer zone maintained without discussion.

“We’re all here because we love this place,” said facilitator Marnie Duvall, 406-555-0182, opening the meeting. “Let’s start by sharing what Big Sky means to you.”

Gerald “Jerry” Haskins, 68, who bought a two-bedroom at Stillwater in 1994 for $112,000, spoke first. “It means quiet. It means knowing the lifties by name. It means you could skin up Lone Peak before work and nobody called it a workout.” He paused. “Now I need a reservation to park at my own trailhead.”

From the right side, Chadwick Montgomery III, 34, a venture capitalist from Austin who closed on a $4.2 million Moonlight Basin residence last October, nodded slowly. “Jerry’s not wrong. The authenticity is why we bought. That’s why I’m advocating for the new wellness pavilion — to preserve the soul of the community through curated experiences.”

A murmur moved through the left side. Someone muttered “curated experiences” into their coffee.

The discussion turned to workforce housing. The district’s proposal: 40 deed-restricted units priced at “local affordability levels,” starting at $785,000.

“My daughter’s a ski patrol lead,” said Haskins. “She lives in Belgrade with three roommates. Drives 45 minutes each way. Seven-eighty-five thousand isn’t affordable. That’s a down payment on a place she’ll never own.”

Montgomery adjusted his Patagonia vest. “The economics are challenging. But the pavilion includes a co-working wing. Remote workers like me subsidize the units. It’s a symbiotic ecosystem.”

“Symbiotic,” repeated Haskins. “That’s what the tick says about the elk.”

The Yellowstone Club was not on the agenda. It came up anyway. Three times. No one used its name. They said “up the road” or “the private side” or simply gestured toward the ridge.

Duvall wrapped up at 8:47 p.m. “Good dialogue,” she said. “We’ll compile feedback and schedule a follow-up.”

As people filed out, Haskins and Montgomery paused at the door together, looking at the same mountain.

“Nice vest,” said Haskins.

“Thanks. Got it at the outlet in Belgrade,” said Montgomery.

They shook hands. Neither invited the other for a beer.

This article is satire. The Bozeman Daily Bee is a satirical publication. None of this is real.