Big Sky resort announced the heritage pass this week, a new season product for skiers who can document at least 30 days on the mountain prior to 1995.

The application requires a notarized affidavit from a lift operator who worked the old Lone Moose triple chair, two canceled lift ticket stubs, and a handwritten essay about the time the gondola broke down in ‘89.

“I got three affidavits lined up,” said Dale Harrow, 68, who bought his condo in Meadow Village in 1987 for what his grandson now spends on a helicopter drop. “But only one of them still answers the phone.”

The pass costs $2,400, which resort marketing director Brenda Voss described as “a respectful nod to the founding generation” and which several founding generation members described as “cute.”

Newer residents, defined by the resort as anyone who arrived after the Yellowstone Club opened its gates in 2000, are not eligible but may purchase the “legacy supporter” add-on for $400, which includes an enamel pin and a PDF certificate.

The heritage pass grants access to a dedicated warming hut at the base of Swift Current, where the coffee is free but the wifi password changes daily and is only distributed via group text.

“I haven’t seen a group text work since 2019,” said Marnie Colfax, who moved to Big Sky in 2021 and runs a property management company for 47 second-home owners. “But I printed the application anyway. My husband’s uncle knew a guy who ran the T-bar in ‘82.”

The resort expects 12 heritage passes to sell. The legacy supporter add-on has already moved 340 units.

The warming hut opens November 15. Dale Harrow plans to be there, assuming his knee holds out and the affidavit from Gary at the post office gets notarized in time.

The envelope is already addressed.

This article is satire. The Bozeman Daily Bee is a satirical publication. None of this is real.