A proposed roundabout at the intersection of Lone Mountain Trail and Ousel Falls Road has united Big Sky’s two populations in shared suspicion. The Montana Department of Transportation presented the design at Tuesday’s open house in the community center’s larger room. Engineers cited safety data and projected traffic volumes through 2045. Attendees cited vibes.

“It’s a traffic circle,” said Dale Henshaw, who bought his Meadow Village condo in 1998 when the lift ticket was $42. “We have stop signs. Stop signs work. You stop, you look, you go. A circle means you have to think.” Henshaw drove his 2003 Subaru Outback to the meeting from his summer rental in Four Corners.

Across the room, Chadwick Thornton IV adjusted his Patagonia vest. He purchased a Spanish Peaks residence in 2021 for “legacy access.” “The geometry doesn’t serve the arrival experience,” Thornton said. “My guests come from Bozeman Yellowstone International Airport expecting a certain rhythm. A rotary disrupts the narrative. Have you considered a grade-separated interchange?” He asked if the state could bill his family office directly.

MDT project manager Karen Liu nodded through both testimonies. She noted the roundabout would accommodate a 53-foot turning radius for the articulated buses that neither population rides. The design includes a center island landscaped with native grasses that will die by July. Lighting meets dark-sky standards requested by the astronomy club, which has three members.

Public comment runs through August 30. The Meadow Village HOA has scheduled a potluck to discuss. The Mountain Village HOA has scheduled a catered reception. Both serve the same potato salad from the same Belgrade deli.

Construction would begin spring 2027 if funding holds. The stop signs remain for now. They work fine. You stop. You look. You go.

This article is satire. The Bozeman Daily Bee is a satirical publication. None of this is real.