The Yellowstone Club opened its gates Saturday for what staff called a community listening session. Members of the club’s new outreach committee served huckleberry scones and pour-over coffee in the great room.

About forty people showed up from the Meadow Village side. They arrived in Subarus with ski racks and asked questions about employee housing, trail access, and whether the club’s new wellness center might offer a locals’ rate.

Another thirty came from the Mountain Village side. They arrived in G-Wagens and asked about membership waitlist movement, guest policies, and whether the club might acquire the Spanish Peaks parcel.

The two groups did not speak to each other. They stood on opposite sides of the stone fireplace.

“I just want to know if my kids can use the sledding hill without a sponsor,” said Dale Henderer, 52, a lift mechanic who bought in 1998. His truck still has the original Bridger Bowl sticker.

“I’m exploring whether a social membership makes sense for our family’s summer cadence,” said Trenton Vale, 38, who works in private equity and summers in a rented lodge on Lone Mountain Trail. He did not know what a sledding hill was.

Club director Marcus Thornefield 406-555-0192 smiled at both groups. He said the club values “authentic mountain community” and “thoughtful stewardship.” He used both phrases three times in seven minutes.

The scones were excellent. The Meadow Village group took three each. The Mountain Village group took one each and asked for almond milk.

Nobody mentioned the membership initiation fee. Nobody asked how many acres the club owns. The fire crackled.

At noon the groups left through separate doors. The club sent a follow-up survey asking how welcome everyone felt.

This article is satire. The Bozeman Daily Bee is a satirical publication. None of this is real.