Big Sky Resort announced a new local preference parking program for the Town Center lot this week, reserving forty spaces for vehicles displaying a verified local permit. The program was designed to ease summer congestion. It has instead revealed that the community cannot agree on what local means.

The application requires proof of residency, employment, or property ownership within the Big Sky zoning district. Seasonal workers, second-home owners who summer here, and year-round residents who commute to Bozeman all interpret the criteria differently. The resort has received two hundred applications and zero consensus.

“I’ve lived here since the lift ticket was twenty bucks and the only traffic was elk,” said Dale Henshaw, 72, who bought his Meadow Village condo in 1998. “My grandkids visit for two weeks in July. They’re not local. I am. Why do I need a permit to prove it?”

Chloe Vanderholt, 34, who manages a spa in Mountain Village and shares a workforce housing unit in Meadow Village, submitted her lease and a pay stub. Her application was flagged for additional verification because her employer’s address is technically in Gallatin County, not the resort tax district.

“I’m here more than the guy who flies in for Christmas and February break,” Vanderholt said. “But he gets a permit because his LLC owns a six-million-dollar place on Andesite. The math doesn’t math.”

The resort’s parking committee, composed of three full-time residents, two second-home owners, and a representative from the Yellowstone Club who attends via Zoom, met Thursday to review the first batch of appeals. They agreed to form a subcommittee to define local. The subcommittee will need a definition of local to determine who can serve on it.

Permits will be issued on a rolling basis starting September first. The unreserved spaces remain first-come, first-served. The elk continue to park wherever they want.

This article is satire. The Bozeman Daily Bee is a satirical publication. None of this is real.