The three-story brick building at 217 East Main Street changed hands last Tuesday for $4.2 million, according to county records. The property, which housed Grizzly Hardware for 42 years until its closure in March, was purchased by 217 East Main LLC, a Delaware entity registered to a mailing address in Jackson, Wyoming.

Broker Dale Hathaway of Summit Commercial Group confirmed the sale price works out to roughly $1,150 per square foot. “That’s a Main Street number now,” Hathaway said. “Five years ago you were at $600, maybe $650. The math has shifted.”

The new ownership group, which declined to be named beyond their managing partner, released a statement saying they intend to “honor the building’s heritage while curating an authentic urban experience for the discerning Bozeman visitor and resident.” Plans submitted to the planning department show ground-floor retail targeting “premium lifestyle brands” with two upper floors of “executive loft residences” starting at $3,800 per month.

“I came in here for fence staples and a pipe wrench in 1998,” said Tom Vandevelde, a third-generation rancher from Manhattan. “Now I guess I’ll come in for a $40 candle that smells like fence staples and a pipe wrench. Progress is progress.”

The building’s original tin ceiling and exposed brick will remain exposed. The loading dock where pallets of fence posts once arrived will become a “curated entry experience” with a living moss wall. Two parking spaces are included with each loft; a third space may be leased for $350 monthly.

Grizzly Hardware’s former owner, Earl Grizzly, retired to Livingston last spring. He still stops by the Co-op on Saturdays. “They sent me the listing,” he said. “Four million two. For a building that leaks when the wind blows sideways. I sold it for six hundred thousand in 2018. I thought I did pretty good.”

The lofts are expected to lease by October. The retail spaces are in talks with a Denver-based apothecary concept and a ski-boot fitting studio that offers “biomechanical alignment sessions” by appointment.

This article is satire. The Bozeman Daily Bee is a satirical publication. None of this is real.