The 18,000-square-foot warehouse at 412 East Oak Street has been listed for lease at $32 per square foot triple-net, marketed as “creative flex suites for the modern maker economy.” The building housed Gallatin Valley Wholesale Paper from 1972 until last October, when owner Dale Hargrove retired at 78.

Broker Tina Lareson of Peak Commercial says the asking rate is “a bargain by current Bozeman standards” and notes three tours already booked this week. The listing describes exposed timber trusses, 22-foot clear heights, and “immediate access to the North 7th corridor.”

“I paid $4.50 a foot in 1998 and thought I was getting robbed,” Hargrove said. He still stops by most mornings for coffee at the diner across the street. “Now they want thirty-two dollars for the same dust. I just shake my head.”

The space is divisible to 2,500-square-foot minimums. Lareson says inquiries have come from a ceramicist, a cold-plunge manufacturer, and a “brand experience agency” from Austin. No one has asked about loading dock access.

Hargrove’s grandson works the counter at the diner. He says he’d need two more jobs to afford the lease on the place his grandfather built with a handshake and a banker named Earl.

The listing photos show the original office where Hargrove kept a framed photo of his first delivery truck. It has been staged with a mid-century sofa and a fiddle-leaf fig.

This article is satire. The Bozeman Daily Bee is a satirical publication. None of this is real.