The Four Corners Diner has occupied the same cinder-block building at the intersection of Jackrabbit Lane and Huffine Lane since 1987. The vinyl booths are original. The pie case rotates between huckleberry, rhubarb, and whatever berries Darlene Forrester picks behind her house in July.

Last week a chalkboard appeared beside the register. “Artisan Sourdough Toast — $8” in careful cursive. Below it: “Coffee — $2 (refills free).” The sourdough comes from a bakery in the Bridger Building Supply design studio that opened last spring where the baling wire aisle used to be.

Owner Mike Forrester, 68, wiped his hands on his apron and studied the board. “The bank said the property taxes tripled after the pickleball complex went in across the street,” he said. “Darlene’s huckleberry pie still costs four dollars a slice. The toast helps cover the difference.”

Regulars have opinions. Tom Vandehey, who has sat at the counter stool nearest the kitchen door for twenty-two years, ordered the toast on Tuesday. “It’s good bread,” he said. “Butter’s real. Eight dollars is a lot for toast. I told Mike that. He said the avocado smash costs him four dollars wholesale. I said avocado doesn’t grow in Montana. He said neither does sourdough starter from a design studio.”

The diner opens at 5 a.m. for the concrete crews and the MSU custodial shift. By 9 a.m. the Four Corners commuters pull in — Subarus with roof boxes, diesel duallies with toolboxes, the occasional Lucid Air charging at the new station beside the former hay field. All of them order coffee. About one in five orders the toast.

Mike Forrester refills a ceramic mug without being asked. “Darlene says if the toast pays the tax bill, we keep the pie at four dollars,” he said. “That’s the arrangement.”

The chalkboard stays up. The pie case stays full. The coffee stays two dollars.

This article is satire. The Bozeman Daily Bee is a satirical publication. None of this is real.