The Bozeman Daily Bee

University Of Montana Cuts Literature And Economics Programs; Students Will Now Learn Neither

The University of Montana announced this week it will eliminate its master’s programs in both literature and economics, ensuring that future graduates will understand neither the human condition nor the financial system that governs it.

“We had to make some tough choices,” said Provost Margaret Sunderland. “And we decided the toughest choice was to produce graduates who can’t analyze a novel or a balance sheet.”

The decision came after a comprehensive review determined that students who understand complex texts and economic theory are “difficult to manage” and “ask too many questions during orientation.”

MSU Commissions $2.3 Million Study on Why University Studies Cost So Much

Montana State University announced Tuesday the formation of a new interdepartmental task force to investigate the rising costs of university-commissioned research, a study that will itself cost an estimated $2.3 million over eighteen months.

“We feel it’s critical that we understand why these investigations require such significant resource allocation,” said Provost Margaret Chenoweth during a press conference held in the newly renovated $4.7 million press conference room in Montana Hall. “The preliminary findings of our pre-study feasibility assessment suggest that the answer may be complex.”