A single parking space on West Main Street has been listed for sale at $375,000, marking what local real estate analysts are calling “a new milestone in Bozeman’s ongoing relationship with the concept of money.”

The space — a 9-by-18-foot rectangle of asphalt located between a pottery studio and a restaurant that changes concepts every four months — was listed Tuesday by Gallatin Valley Properties with the description: “Rare downtown opportunity. South-facing. Mountain views (if you stand on your car). Steps from dining, shopping, and existential crisis.”

“It’s a steal at this price point,” said listing agent Rick Vandermeer, who declined to specify what exactly was being stolen. “You’re not just buying parking. You’re buying a lifestyle. You’re buying the ability to say ‘I have a spot on Main’ at dinner parties. That’s priceless. Well, it’s $375,000. But emotionally? Priceless.”

The listing has drawn mixed reactions from downtown business owners.

“I think it’s great for the area,” said Jenna Foothills, owner of Aligned Crystals & Juicery, whose shop is adjacent to the space. “More investment means more foot traffic. Or, I guess in this case, tire traffic.”

Others were less enthusiastic. “I’ve been trying to park on Main Street for six years,” said longtime Bozeman resident Gary Nussbaum, 61. “Now I find out the spot I’ve been circling has an asking price higher than my house. In 1994, I bought a three-bedroom on Willson for less than this. It had a yard. The yard had a tree.”

The space does not include a garage, roof, walls, plumbing, electricity, or any structure of any kind. It does include, according to the listing, “ample natural light” and “open-concept living.”

At press time, the listing had received two offers over asking price, both from people who described themselves as “just looking.”

This article is satire. The Bozeman Daily Bee is a satirical publication. None of this is real.