Local food writer and self-described “appetizer futurist” Connie Bridges has declared polenta tots the “only Super Bowl snack that matters,” despite having never watched a complete football game and admitting she’s “not totally sure how many quarters there are.”

“Four? I want to say four,” Bridges said Monday, while arranging tots on a handmade ceramic plate she described as “the real MVP.”

The recipe, which Bridges published on her blog Fork & Feeling, involves cutting chilled polenta into cylinders, coating them in panko and parmesan, and baking until crispy. She recommends serving them with a roasted red pepper aioli and “a sense of occasion.”

“People overthink game day food,” Bridges said. “Wings, dips, sliders — it’s all so aggressive. A polenta tot is gentle. It meets you where you are.”

Bridges’ husband, who does watch football, said he supports his wife’s culinary direction but plans to also make nachos. “She can put the tots on the table and they’ll get eaten,” he said. “But I’m not watching the Super Bowl without cheese that comes from a jar. That’s non-negotiable.”

The couple expects eight guests. Bridges has prepared forty-five tots. Her husband has purchased four pounds of ground beef, two blocks of Velveeta, and a bag of Tostitos he described as “structural.”