The calm waters of Hyalite Reservoir were briefly interrupted Saturday afternoon when a local man, seeking to optimize his morning exercise routine, was detained by federal authorities. The individual, identified as Gary Puddle-Jump, had reportedly rigged a vintage lawnmower engine to his fiberglass paddleboard. He claimed the modification was necessary to achieve “peak efficiency” while navigating the reservoir’s morning chop.

“I just wanted to get across to the south end faster so I could hit the trail before the crowds arrived,” said Puddle-Jump, while waiting for a tow truck to haul his modified watercraft from the boat ramp. “I saw the swan, and I thought maybe it knew the path of least resistance. It seemed like a sensible way to save some energy for the hike.”

The situation escalated when Puddle-Jump attempted to tether his paddleboard to the swan using a length of paracord scavenged from a discarded climbing harness. Witnesses report that the swan did not appreciate the effort, resulting in a sudden capsizing that sent Puddle-Jump, his specialized dry-bag, and several artisanal sandwiches into the drink.

The U.S. Forest Service arrived shortly after to find Puddle-Jump attempting to negotiate a more professional partnership with the waterfowl. While the swan remained largely unimpressed, federal officials were quite concerned about the motorized modification. They noted that engine-powered propulsion on a paddleboard technically reclassifies the vessel under maritime navigation laws, even if the engine in question was pulled from a 1994 push-mower.

“We have a lot of people trying to find new ways to enjoy the valley,” said Forest Ranger Sarah Pine-Needle. “But once you start involving the local wildlife in your transportation logistics, we have to step in. The reservoir is meant to be a shared space, not a commuter lane for the highly motivated.”

Puddle-Jump has been issued a citation and instructed to return his paddleboard to its original, manual state. He remains optimistic that, with a few more tweaks and a stronger set of zip-ties, he can eventually beat the morning traffic at the trailhead.

The swan was last seen swimming peacefully toward the middle of the lake.