The downtown corridor saw an unusual amount of activity this Saturday as Senate candidates Arthur Pringle and Beatrice Vane met for a “listening session” held entirely within a single marked parking space on Main Street. The candidates were there to discuss the future of the state, though the conversation quickly shifted to the structural integrity of a proposed footbridge that would span North 7th Avenue, potentially displacing several beloved spots near the local coffee roaster.

“It is a matter of profound importance,” said Pringle, adjusting his Patagonia vest while checking his watch against the digital clock of a nearby Tesla. “We can either have a legacy of connectivity or we can have enough room for a Ford F-350 to back out without hitting a bicycle rack. It’s the defining issue of our time, and quite frankly, it’s keeping me up at night.”

Vane, who arrived on an electric scooter to demonstrate her commitment to the environment, disagreed. She argued that the bridge was essential for the “walkability” of a town where everyone drives three miles to reach the trailheads anyway. She noted that if the bridge were built, the reduced parking would force residents to adopt a more European lifestyle, provided that lifestyle included a massive truck and a desire to go skiing on a Tuesday morning.

Local resident Dale Huckleberry, who has lived in the valley since the parking meters were manually cranked, watched the exchange while waiting for his order.

“They’re talking about bridges and policy, but nobody is talking about how hard it is to find a spot for a horse trailer near the Co-op,” Huckleberry said. “I don’t know who these people are or why they want to represent us in Washington, but if they want my vote, they need to figure out why the North 19th construction seems to be moving backward in time.”

The two candidates remained in the parking space for three hours, effectively blocking access to two spots, which caused a minor traffic jam that extended all the way to the interstate. They were eventually asked to move by a local delivery driver, at which point both candidates agreed to reconvene in Belgrade to continue their disagreement.

As of Monday morning, the proposed bridge remains a drawing on a napkin, and the parking spots remain full. The sun set behind the Bridgers, casting long, peaceful shadows over the gridlock.