The Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks department has officially welcomed a new chief of enforcement. The agency hopes this leadership change will help standardize the unspoken rules governing how our local wildlife interacts with the growing number of people trying to eat avocado toast on mountaintops.

The primary task for the new chief involves reconciling the traditional “wild” nature of the backcountry with the recent influx of hikers who expect the trails to be as well-groomed as the lawn at the neighborhood yoga studio. It is a delicate balance, as the bears seem increasingly confused by the lack of proper table manners displayed by the weekend crowds.

“I’ve spent the last twenty years watching mountain goats try to avoid eye contact with joggers near Hyalite,” said Vern Huckleberry, a local outfitter who has lived in the valley since before the first espresso machine arrived. “If the new chief can get the grizzly population to at least wait until the hikers finish their quinoa bowls before approaching, we’ll call it a successful tenure.”

The agency also plans to address the ongoing debate regarding whether wildlife should be required to respect “do not disturb” signs posted by homeowners who moved into the forest last spring. There is a strong consensus that the bears are simply not reading the fine print in the neighborhood association bylaws.

Many residents have suggested that a more robust enforcement policy might discourage animals from wandering into Four Corners to see what is happening at the new construction sites. Others, however, believe that if we provide the bears with enough high-end trail mix and artisanal jerky, they might eventually stop trying to eat the locals’ Teslas.

The new chief arrives at a time when the distinction between a managed wilderness and a backyard botanical garden has never been thinner. Staff at the agency remain hopeful that by increasing patrols, they can convince the local fauna to behave more like the postcard versions of themselves.

It is currently unclear if the bears have been informed of the new management policies.