The Gallatin Valley health department has issued a gentle advisory this week following reports of five diners feeling “decidedly unaligned” after eating jalapeños at a pop-up taco stand near the historic district. The peppers, which were marketed as “heritage-grade, sunlight-infused, and emotionally balanced,” appear to have caused a localized disruption in digestive harmony.

“I just wanted a vibrant experience,” said Juniper Moon-Beams, a freelance mountain yoga instructor who moved here from Portland in 2021. “The taco was so authentic I could practically hear the soil screaming, but then my chakras felt a bit blocked for about forty-eight hours. It was a very intense journey, honestly.”

The peppers in question were sourced from a cooperative greenhouse that practices acoustic therapy for all vegetable crops. Experts suggest that while the jalapeños were undoubtedly high-vibration, they may have lacked the necessary grounding energy required to traverse the human digestive system during such a busy tourist month.

Some residents have expressed frustration, noting that it is difficult to maintain a farm-to-table lifestyle when the farm unexpectedly disagrees with the table. “I moved here for the clean air and the ability to know my produce by its first name,” noted local rancher Bill Fenceline, who stopped by the stand for a quick lunch between checking his fences. “If I wanted to spend my afternoon contemplating my own mortality due to a vegetable, I would have just eaten a cactus out by the interstate.”

Health officials are currently reviewing whether the jalapeños were harvested during a full moon, which some believe can increase the capsaicin potency to levels unintended by nature. They suggest that locals stick to milder options like kale smoothies or lukewarm quinoa bowls until the current planetary alignment settles down.

For now, the taco stand has replaced its spicy offerings with a “calming cucumber ribbon salad” that is guaranteed to be entirely spiritually inert.

There are no plans to remove the jalapeños from the city, as they currently represent the most exciting thing to happen on Main Street since the parking kiosk update.

Digestion is a personal process that everyone must navigate in their own time.