A fleet of pedal-assist mountain bikes lined the Bozeman Creek trailhead Saturday morning beside Subarus, a lifted diesel, and one bicycle built before the Berlin Wall fell. Representatives from three shops offered test rides on the lower connector trail, which climbs four hundred feet in a mile and smells like pine needles and brake dust.

Hiker Marge Lindstrom, seventy-two, leaned on her poles and watched a rider climb the switchback she has walked daily since 1998. “He didn’t even breathe hard,” she said. “I’m not sure if that’s wonderful or cheating. I’ll decide after my hip replacement.”

Shop employee Tyler Voss, twenty-six, adjusted a seat post for a man in a flannel shirt who said he hasn’t ridden since Clinton was president. Voss explained the three assist modes while a golden retriever chased a tennis ball through the demo zone. The man chose eco mode and disappeared up the trail laughing.

Two trail runners paused at the kiosk to read the new multi-use yield triangle. One muttered about motors in the wilderness. The other noted her e-bike commute from Belgrade saves forty minutes and a gallon of gas. They high-fived and ran opposite directions.

Ranger Dana Kipp monitored from a picnic table with a clipboard and a thermos. She has worked this drainage twelve seasons. “The trail doesn’t care what pushes you up it,” she said. “It only cares if you stay on it.”

By noon the demo bikes were dusty and the parking lot had spilled into the meadow. Lindstrom waved from her usual bench as the flannel-shirted man descended grinning, already asking about battery range.

This article is satire. The Bozeman Daily Bee is a satirical publication. None of this is real.