The Bozeman Daily Bee

Polenta Tots Declared 'Super Bowl Solution' By Woman Who Has Never Watched Football

Local food writer and self-described “appetizer futurist” Connie Bridges has declared polenta tots the “only Super Bowl snack that matters,” despite having never watched a complete football game and admitting she’s “not totally sure how many quarters there are.”

“Four? I want to say four,” Bridges said Monday, while arranging tots on a handmade ceramic plate she described as “the real MVP.”

The recipe, which Bridges published on her blog Fork & Feeling, involves cutting chilled polenta into cylinders, coating them in panko and parmesan, and baking until crispy. She recommends serving them with a roasted red pepper aioli and “a sense of occasion.”

I Tried Oat Milk

My wife asked me to try oat milk. I said fine. I’m a reasonable man.

It is not milk. I don’t mean that politically. I mean I poured it into my coffee and the coffee turned a color I’ve never seen before. A defeated color. I drank it because I said I would, then I drove to Town & Country and bought a half gallon of 2% like a person who hasn’t lost his mind.

Whoever Changed The Pickle At The Deli Owes This Town An Explanation

Editor’s note: The following was submitted unsolicited to our offices in a hand-addressed envelope. We are printing it in full.

I have been going to the same deli for seven years. Every Thursday. Turkey on wheat, no tomato, extra mustard, and a pickle on the side. The pickle was the reason I went on Thursdays specifically, because Thursday is when they put out the new batch and the crunch was at its peak. I don’t say this to be dramatic. I say it because it is important to understand what the pickle meant before I explain what happened to it.